Sorry I'm late, I got caught up watching that Pirates of the Carribean marathon. Have you seen those things?
I'm not one to get overly excited about small chances of something happening but check this. Oregon, ranked 7th, is merely 6 ranks away from a triumphant return to the BCS Title Game. Clemson, Boise State, Stanford, Oklahoma State and Alabama stand between the Ducks and Tigers gettin' it on for the Natty. Clemson I figured would lose a game and sure enough gave one away this weekend (ducks up one spot). 'Bama still has to play LSU in a COLOSSAL matchup of 1's and 2's. Let's say LSU beats Saban's boys and remains #1, ducks up one spot. Oklahoma State still has to play Oklahoma and while I'd rather have a rusty spoon jabbed into my eyeball than root for the Sooners it's a good chance they'll lose that game and ducks up one spot. Ducks v Stanford on November 19th is bigger than the Superbowl right now and when the Ducks prevail they'll move up one spot. That leaves Boise St.....who plays no team of any significance more than 1.5 times a year. I'd love to hear the cries from Idaho when the Ducks leapfrog them to the #2 spot and Chip Kelly gets another shot at the title. Bet on all of this happening.
Romosexual knows a thing about climbing the rankings. His squad has been last place, now first place, and seemingly everywhere in between. Suck SHOULD be 3-4 but keeps coming up with ways to tie the game, he's riding a two-game tie streak into this weekend. If my team were a race horse I would love the current position, half way through and mid pack....ready to break!
I'm very impressed with my beloved Dolphins commitment to getting Andrew Luck for their fans. Clear to anyone watching last week's game was the Dolphins showing how they COULD beat the Broncos for 3.9 quarters of football but then giving the game away so our fans could enjoy Stanford's finest in 2012. Equally impressive were the Colts who demonstrated their commitment by refusing to play defense in prime time. I'm officially rooting for the Fins to lose every game this season and become the next Detroit Lions.
Boy's Lets get to it (2-2-1....freakin' ties)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!: The Newly Wed Game: Finally an NFL primetime game worth a damn in the Dallas vs Philly matchup later on this evening. Steve's counting on big numbers from Romo and DeMarco (DePolo). Carla's still riding the Wagon of the Buffalo Bills. Fitzpatrick got paid this week (11mil guaranteed buys a lot of hand made quilts for sure) and is excited to have them back after last week's bye. Steve's squad is on a tear and I have to play the hot hand here. Steve beats his wife by 20pts.
DOGS RUNNING WILD vs. Dealio: My mom has done well with her Packers wave of success, they've been playing lights out for her all season. If any team could get fantasy points on their bye week it might be the pack but highly unlikely. Deal wins big this week, 40 points.
Evil Shenanigans Vs. E's Shenanigans: I always pick me to win. And I pretty much always pick E to lose. Neither tend to let me down. Me by 10 points.
Chaos N Suh vs. Heather: This is the Tale, of Captain Jack Sparrow. Pirate So Brave on the Seven Seas. A mystical quest to the Isle of Tortuga. Raven locks sway on the Ocean's Breeze! Chaos by 50pts
Suck for Luck vs JetLovinJunior: Yea that was kinda weird but we're back in the club, buyin' up the bar so the groupies show us love. Too bad Drew Brees doesn't play the Colts each week right Ana? Suck's pretty happy to have Welker back this week, the guy does 90 yards and a score on a bad day this season. I think this one will be pretty close. So close Luck will think he's getting his third tie in a row. He won't, but he'll win by 4pts.
Davy Jones, Giant Squid
The Commish
S.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
The Commish Report: Week 7
Another week gone by and another embarrassing loss by the Dolphins. Ugh.... Everything about our team is going to be the reason Andrew Luck stays at Stanford for one more year.
Pretty crazy week for me. Romosexual and Starfish came into town and it was great having them! I spent a tuesday morning at Heaven on Earth followed by a trip to the casino to shoot some craps and play penny slots. It's probably as pirate-kingy as I could get on a Tuesday morning. I realized I'm not addicted to slot machines but addicted to slot machine mini-games....I'll pay 10 dollars of spins to play one bonus round where I get to fire cannon shots into the sky for bonuses. That game had bonus games within bonus games.... it's the reason the Commish Report is coming out at 9:30am on Sunday.
Long week = Short Report, onto the MATCHUPS!!! (2-2-1....a tie???)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK! Only Jets Fan Left vs. JetLovin: Ugh I hate the Jets. But I love a matchup against husband and wife. Sir Mathew Forte is playing in England this week. I wonder how much of NFL Pre-game in the UK is explaining what a yard is? Eric's team looks a lot like my team used to (Holmes, Mendenhall, Starks) it's about time Skywalker started listening to Yoda. Even with all my old players I can't bring myself to pick E, especially against someone who is way better at Fantasy Football than him. Ana wins....by 24pts.
DOGS vs. Ben: There's one every season. Dogs by a lot.
Chaos vs. Romosexual: Last season Steve's team was not as good as it's record, this season he's probably better than his record. Steve has 4 cowboys on his fantasy team, Brad has 4 lions. I don't have any dolphins. When the Lions and Cowboys met up earlier the Cowboys went up huge early, and than decided to go against conventional wisdom and keep the game in the hands of Tony Romo. Lions came from behind and won a close one. Same thing happens here. Lions win by 4.
Starfish vs Suck: Heyward Bay? Kellen Winslow? Ryan Grant? Bye weeks suck. Starfish wins by 20.
Evil Shenanigans vs. What's your deal?: This one will be a close matchup. Green Bay defense can't stop AP, they can only hope to contain him. Marshawn Lynch could have a huge game against Clevelandtown. Unfortunately a "huge game" for Marshawn is 50 yards and a score. My team is 3-3 and finding it's identity. My championship run begins today. Shenanigans by 10pts.
I get by with a little help from my friends.
The Commish
S.
Pretty crazy week for me. Romosexual and Starfish came into town and it was great having them! I spent a tuesday morning at Heaven on Earth followed by a trip to the casino to shoot some craps and play penny slots. It's probably as pirate-kingy as I could get on a Tuesday morning. I realized I'm not addicted to slot machines but addicted to slot machine mini-games....I'll pay 10 dollars of spins to play one bonus round where I get to fire cannon shots into the sky for bonuses. That game had bonus games within bonus games.... it's the reason the Commish Report is coming out at 9:30am on Sunday.
Long week = Short Report, onto the MATCHUPS!!! (2-2-1....a tie???)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK! Only Jets Fan Left vs. JetLovin: Ugh I hate the Jets. But I love a matchup against husband and wife. Sir Mathew Forte is playing in England this week. I wonder how much of NFL Pre-game in the UK is explaining what a yard is? Eric's team looks a lot like my team used to (Holmes, Mendenhall, Starks) it's about time Skywalker started listening to Yoda. Even with all my old players I can't bring myself to pick E, especially against someone who is way better at Fantasy Football than him. Ana wins....by 24pts.
DOGS vs. Ben: There's one every season. Dogs by a lot.
Chaos vs. Romosexual: Last season Steve's team was not as good as it's record, this season he's probably better than his record. Steve has 4 cowboys on his fantasy team, Brad has 4 lions. I don't have any dolphins. When the Lions and Cowboys met up earlier the Cowboys went up huge early, and than decided to go against conventional wisdom and keep the game in the hands of Tony Romo. Lions came from behind and won a close one. Same thing happens here. Lions win by 4.
Starfish vs Suck: Heyward Bay? Kellen Winslow? Ryan Grant? Bye weeks suck. Starfish wins by 20.
Evil Shenanigans vs. What's your deal?: This one will be a close matchup. Green Bay defense can't stop AP, they can only hope to contain him. Marshawn Lynch could have a huge game against Clevelandtown. Unfortunately a "huge game" for Marshawn is 50 yards and a score. My team is 3-3 and finding it's identity. My championship run begins today. Shenanigans by 10pts.
I get by with a little help from my friends.
The Commish
S.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
The Commish Report: Week 6
Today's my night off. I've been on this Paleo diet cleanse for an eternity (9 days) and ok sure I've cut a few corners (two trips to Togos and some Wine) but I've done a lot better than I anticipated. Instead of crossfit and organic free range grilled chicken tonight it's Jaspers cheeseburger and Dos Equis. I couldn't be happier
Speaking of couldn't be happier...
The Lions are 5-0!!!! The Packers are 5-0!!!! They meet-up over Thanksgiving in what will be a sure-fire classic. That will be the 2nd most relevant game that day because we all can agree on the magnitude of Dolphins vs. Cowboys that morning.
Apparently 1-4 is bad enough to go against everything you've been saying from the start of the season John Fox. Good luck with your 2nd string half-back running the offense. The Jets went 0-3 on their road trip and now get my beloved Dolphins on Monday Night Football. I know the Fins can't be anybody but c'mon, beat those freakin Jets! I love me some Fred Jackson, I'll admit it. Without Tony Romo playing this week I feel like I'm missing some material....
Apparently you don't have to be pay attention to your roster to beat E as Heather (who lost interest in her fantasy team about 3 minutes after she ensured she'd have Big Ben at QB) pulled out the win despite being down two players. For a second I thought I might catch up to Steve on the Jahvid's best night ever (see what I did there?). What's your deal is trying to separate from the pack, hopefully Dwayne Bowe doesn't have a ridic catch in him every week.
What's in Store for us this week? (3-2 last week...lack of alcohol is depleting my abilities)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK! Chaos N Suh vs. Suck For Luck: Roommates typically have enough to fight about already but this week will be intense. Niners, on huge roll. Lions, on a huge roll. Those two teams square off this Sunday. Brad, rebounded nicely this week from his defeat previously. Jeremy, suffering a loss this week and looking to rebound. This two guys might kill each other! Can the Niners stop Calvin Johnson and Co.? No, not even Optimus Prime (leader of the Autobots) could cover Megatron in the endzone in 2011. Brad wins a close one, by 5pts.
What's Your Deal? (Seriously?) vs. One Lonely Jets Fan: 1st Place versus Last Place. Obviously going the direction everything thinks I will. Joe wins by 40pts (plus or minus a few).
Ben There vs. Evil Shenanigans: Interesting strategy of playing Andre Johnson last week. He didn't pan out well for Heather (0pts against a prediction of....0pts) but the decision to start him didn't cost her a win. It will cost her a win this week. Me by 20pts.
Starfish Loves vs. Jet Lovin: Lotta love in this matchup. Remember last year when Philly and the Redskins met on MNF and DeSean Jackson went off for 70 yards and a TD on the first play of the game? I'm sure the 'Skins remember that too. Won't happen this year. Meanwhile you know I love me some Buffalo Bills offense. A lot changes in one year. Starfish circles the wagons and rides the Amish Rifle (phrasing) to victory. Starfish by 10pts.
DOGS RUNNIN' WICKY WILD vs. Romosexual Regrets: Aaron Rogers and Greg Jennings are the most explosive duo since Tim Allen and Richard Karn. No Beanie this week and that doesn't bode Wells for my mom. CJ Spiller is good for 20 yards sure, on 5 carries in the 4th quarter. But there's better on waivers. Steve is missing Chris Johnson this week but I doubt he'll miss CJ's 8 points average. This one will be close and I'll give the edge to my mom. Everybody know what time it is? Time for Dogs to win another, by 3 points.
I have a Skype Date in 5 minutes. How 21st century am I?
You must set your rosters before kickoff to have fun in this league.
NBA Season is about to be canceled. I don't know about you but I'd rather watch BA Player/Owner negotiations than the WNBA. No disrespect to the hundreds of WNBA fans and Joe.
Go Ducks! Big game against the Sun Devils this weekend. I will be glued to the TV for all the action. A few of you are heading to the game, send me some pics to post on the blog!
Like this one
The Commish
S.
Speaking of couldn't be happier...
The Lions are 5-0!!!! The Packers are 5-0!!!! They meet-up over Thanksgiving in what will be a sure-fire classic. That will be the 2nd most relevant game that day because we all can agree on the magnitude of Dolphins vs. Cowboys that morning.
Apparently 1-4 is bad enough to go against everything you've been saying from the start of the season John Fox. Good luck with your 2nd string half-back running the offense. The Jets went 0-3 on their road trip and now get my beloved Dolphins on Monday Night Football. I know the Fins can't be anybody but c'mon, beat those freakin Jets! I love me some Fred Jackson, I'll admit it. Without Tony Romo playing this week I feel like I'm missing some material....
Apparently you don't have to be pay attention to your roster to beat E as Heather (who lost interest in her fantasy team about 3 minutes after she ensured she'd have Big Ben at QB) pulled out the win despite being down two players. For a second I thought I might catch up to Steve on the Jahvid's best night ever (see what I did there?). What's your deal is trying to separate from the pack, hopefully Dwayne Bowe doesn't have a ridic catch in him every week.
What's in Store for us this week? (3-2 last week...lack of alcohol is depleting my abilities)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK! Chaos N Suh vs. Suck For Luck: Roommates typically have enough to fight about already but this week will be intense. Niners, on huge roll. Lions, on a huge roll. Those two teams square off this Sunday. Brad, rebounded nicely this week from his defeat previously. Jeremy, suffering a loss this week and looking to rebound. This two guys might kill each other! Can the Niners stop Calvin Johnson and Co.? No, not even Optimus Prime (leader of the Autobots) could cover Megatron in the endzone in 2011. Brad wins a close one, by 5pts.
What's Your Deal? (Seriously?) vs. One Lonely Jets Fan: 1st Place versus Last Place. Obviously going the direction everything thinks I will. Joe wins by 40pts (plus or minus a few).
Ben There vs. Evil Shenanigans: Interesting strategy of playing Andre Johnson last week. He didn't pan out well for Heather (0pts against a prediction of....0pts) but the decision to start him didn't cost her a win. It will cost her a win this week. Me by 20pts.
Starfish Loves vs. Jet Lovin: Lotta love in this matchup. Remember last year when Philly and the Redskins met on MNF and DeSean Jackson went off for 70 yards and a TD on the first play of the game? I'm sure the 'Skins remember that too. Won't happen this year. Meanwhile you know I love me some Buffalo Bills offense. A lot changes in one year. Starfish circles the wagons and rides the Amish Rifle (phrasing) to victory. Starfish by 10pts.
DOGS RUNNIN' WICKY WILD vs. Romosexual Regrets: Aaron Rogers and Greg Jennings are the most explosive duo since Tim Allen and Richard Karn. No Beanie this week and that doesn't bode Wells for my mom. CJ Spiller is good for 20 yards sure, on 5 carries in the 4th quarter. But there's better on waivers. Steve is missing Chris Johnson this week but I doubt he'll miss CJ's 8 points average. This one will be close and I'll give the edge to my mom. Everybody know what time it is? Time for Dogs to win another, by 3 points.
I have a Skype Date in 5 minutes. How 21st century am I?
You must set your rosters before kickoff to have fun in this league.
NBA Season is about to be canceled. I don't know about you but I'd rather watch BA Player/Owner negotiations than the WNBA. No disrespect to the hundreds of WNBA fans and Joe.
Go Ducks! Big game against the Sun Devils this weekend. I will be glued to the TV for all the action. A few of you are heading to the game, send me some pics to post on the blog!
The Commish
S.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
The Commish Report: Week 5
Forgive me for the delayed report, been a roller-coaster week. But I promise to always have this posted before the first kickoff each and every week.
"Are you ready for some football?!?!" Has been silenced. Hank Williams Junior was fired from ESPN after using an analogy that compared Obama to Hitler. I'm not defending Hank Jr (he's an idiot and what do you expect when you give the man a microphone?) but my concern is I doubt the people who are condemning Hank Jr held themselves to that same standard when Bush was in office. For example, Family Guy has made similar if not worse jokes about Dubya while he was still in office and I didn't see (nor would I want to see) that show pulled off the air or punished. I'm all about fairness and free speech but this is a double standard our society has created regarding criticizing the man in office.
The best part of great controversy is that it always sparks some amazing comedy.
You can add Andre Johnson and (sigh) Chad Henne to last week's running tally of notable injuries. If Reggie Bush wasn't the answer to the Fin's lack of offense I'm pretty sure neither is Sage Rosenbush. At what point in the season can teams begin throwing games for the #1 Draft Pick? Luck will look great in Orange and Turquoise.
In our league we've seen some surprising things. Only four week's into this season E actually won one. Usually he waits until Thanksgiving before unleashing the hounds. My sweet mother came out of no where to put down a beating on my sister. Sounds like I had a rough childhood. I did, one time I didn't get Nintendo for 2 weeks.
What's in store for this week's Matchups! (0-5 Last weeks....now that's just embarrassing)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK! JetLovinJunior vs. What's Your Deal?: The battle of 3-1 giants rages this week as Joe and Ana duel. Drew Brees vs. Tom "Big Haircut" Brady. This one will get pretty close. I hope Ana brags every Sunday to E how great her team is doing while E watches Mike Vick get hurt. She won't be bragging this week though as the nasty duo of Brady and AP are just too much to handle. Deal by 15pts.
Suck for Luck vs. DOGGIES: After a huge point total last week I'm not sure if Beanie Wells and Co. can repeat against the #1 spot. Jeremy has a good team but really no one seems to do much against his squad. Eventually a Defense will figure out Tom Brady throws to Wes Welker....ALOT. I think the Jets are pretty dumb but not that dumb? They can't be. I'll take Dogs to repeat with big games from Rodgers, Jennings the New York G-Men. Dogs by 5pts.
Romosexual Regrets vs. Evil Shenanigans: If Tony Romo were a combat pilot he'd already be busted down to flying cargo planes full of rubber dog #$%@ out of Hong Kong. Shenanigans by 8pts.
Chaos vs. Starfish: What happens when the league's best pass rush meets the leagues most sacked quarterback? We'll find out on Monday Night Football when the Lions meet the Bears. Are you ready for some.....oh yea not doing that anymore. Look for the Lions to make a statement in primetime and Brad's Fantasy team to roll as a result. Chaos by 10pts.
Been There vs. The Jets Fan: Would love to pick against E in this matchup. Would love to pick against E in every matchup. It takes a lot for me to pick E to win. Seeing Heather's roster not updated with an hour and a half until kickoff raises enough concern for me to write something I never thought I'd write. Jet's Fan wins by A lot!
Big Fan of Pandora? Then you'll be a celebrity stalker of Slacker Radio. It's like Pandora just ridiculously better. Check it out at www.slacker.com.
With the NBA Lockout all but certain i'm sure Jeremy is really excited to finally have someone to talk WNBA with.
Get your rosters set in advance people!
Enjoy the games this weekend! Highly looking forward to Monday Night Football, Nathe (some of you may know) is having a poker game that night, let me know if you feel like giving me all of your money.
What? Me Worry?
The Commish
S.
"Are you ready for some football?!?!" Has been silenced. Hank Williams Junior was fired from ESPN after using an analogy that compared Obama to Hitler. I'm not defending Hank Jr (he's an idiot and what do you expect when you give the man a microphone?) but my concern is I doubt the people who are condemning Hank Jr held themselves to that same standard when Bush was in office. For example, Family Guy has made similar if not worse jokes about Dubya while he was still in office and I didn't see (nor would I want to see) that show pulled off the air or punished. I'm all about fairness and free speech but this is a double standard our society has created regarding criticizing the man in office.
The best part of great controversy is that it always sparks some amazing comedy.
You can add Andre Johnson and (sigh) Chad Henne to last week's running tally of notable injuries. If Reggie Bush wasn't the answer to the Fin's lack of offense I'm pretty sure neither is Sage Rosenbush. At what point in the season can teams begin throwing games for the #1 Draft Pick? Luck will look great in Orange and Turquoise.
In our league we've seen some surprising things. Only four week's into this season E actually won one. Usually he waits until Thanksgiving before unleashing the hounds. My sweet mother came out of no where to put down a beating on my sister. Sounds like I had a rough childhood. I did, one time I didn't get Nintendo for 2 weeks.
What's in store for this week's Matchups! (0-5 Last weeks....now that's just embarrassing)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK! JetLovinJunior vs. What's Your Deal?: The battle of 3-1 giants rages this week as Joe and Ana duel. Drew Brees vs. Tom "Big Haircut" Brady. This one will get pretty close. I hope Ana brags every Sunday to E how great her team is doing while E watches Mike Vick get hurt. She won't be bragging this week though as the nasty duo of Brady and AP are just too much to handle. Deal by 15pts.
Suck for Luck vs. DOGGIES: After a huge point total last week I'm not sure if Beanie Wells and Co. can repeat against the #1 spot. Jeremy has a good team but really no one seems to do much against his squad. Eventually a Defense will figure out Tom Brady throws to Wes Welker....ALOT. I think the Jets are pretty dumb but not that dumb? They can't be. I'll take Dogs to repeat with big games from Rodgers, Jennings the New York G-Men. Dogs by 5pts.
Romosexual Regrets vs. Evil Shenanigans: If Tony Romo were a combat pilot he'd already be busted down to flying cargo planes full of rubber dog #$%@ out of Hong Kong. Shenanigans by 8pts.
Chaos vs. Starfish: What happens when the league's best pass rush meets the leagues most sacked quarterback? We'll find out on Monday Night Football when the Lions meet the Bears. Are you ready for some.....oh yea not doing that anymore. Look for the Lions to make a statement in primetime and Brad's Fantasy team to roll as a result. Chaos by 10pts.
Been There vs. The Jets Fan: Would love to pick against E in this matchup. Would love to pick against E in every matchup. It takes a lot for me to pick E to win. Seeing Heather's roster not updated with an hour and a half until kickoff raises enough concern for me to write something I never thought I'd write. Jet's Fan wins by A lot!
Big Fan of Pandora? Then you'll be a celebrity stalker of Slacker Radio. It's like Pandora just ridiculously better. Check it out at www.slacker.com.
With the NBA Lockout all but certain i'm sure Jeremy is really excited to finally have someone to talk WNBA with.
Get your rosters set in advance people!
Enjoy the games this weekend! Highly looking forward to Monday Night Football, Nathe (some of you may know) is having a poker game that night, let me know if you feel like giving me all of your money.
What? Me Worry?
The Commish
S.
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