The Commish Report: Week 7

Another week gone by and another embarrassing loss by the Dolphins. Ugh.... Everything about our team is going to be the reason Andrew Luck stays at Stanford for one more year.

Pretty crazy week for me. Romosexual and Starfish came into town and it was great having them! I spent a tuesday morning at Heaven on Earth followed by a trip to the casino to shoot some craps and play penny slots. It's probably as pirate-kingy as I could get on a Tuesday morning. I realized I'm not addicted to slot machines but addicted to slot machine mini-games....I'll pay 10 dollars of spins to play one bonus round where I get to fire cannon shots into the sky for bonuses. That game had bonus games within bonus games.... it's the reason the Commish Report is coming out at 9:30am on Sunday.

Long week = Short Report, onto the MATCHUPS!!! (2-2-1....a tie???)

MATCHUP OF THE WEEK! Only Jets Fan Left vs. JetLovin: Ugh I hate the Jets. But I love a matchup against husband and wife. Sir Mathew Forte is playing in England this week. I wonder how much of NFL Pre-game in the UK is explaining what a yard is? Eric's team looks a lot like my team used to (Holmes, Mendenhall, Starks) it's about time Skywalker started listening to Yoda. Even with all my old players I can't bring myself to pick E, especially against someone who is way better at Fantasy Football than him. Ana wins....by 24pts.

DOGS vs. Ben: There's one every season. Dogs by a lot.

Chaos vs. Romosexual: Last season Steve's team was not as good as it's record, this season he's probably better than his record. Steve has 4 cowboys on his fantasy team, Brad has 4 lions. I don't have any dolphins. When the Lions and Cowboys met up earlier the Cowboys went up huge early, and than decided to go against conventional wisdom and keep the game in the hands of Tony Romo. Lions came from behind and won a close one. Same thing happens here. Lions win by 4.

Starfish vs Suck: Heyward Bay? Kellen Winslow? Ryan Grant? Bye weeks suck. Starfish wins by 20.

Evil Shenanigans vs. What's your deal?: This one will be a close matchup. Green Bay defense can't stop AP, they can only hope to contain him. Marshawn Lynch could have a huge game against Clevelandtown. Unfortunately a "huge game" for Marshawn is 50 yards and a score. My team is 3-3 and finding it's identity. My championship run begins today. Shenanigans by 10pts.

I get by with a little help from my friends.

The Commish
S.