The Commish Report: Week 2

I apologize for the delayed and short report. Nothing better represents my week so far than this graphic. I had no idea I actually had to actually know stuff to sell drugs. What a disappointment. Four 14 hour study days in a row has turned me into Bruce Wayne in "Rises" except instead of Wayne Manor I have a 2 bed / 2 bath and a Starbucks to wonder around in. Ugh. I'm glad I have this report to distract myself.

It's going to be a long season for my beloved Dolphins (i.e. "The Royal Tannehills). Here's Scott's list of ways to make the Dolphins a better team.

- Snap the ball directly to Reggie Bush.

"So Hot"

- Mrs. Tannehill Cam: Cut to Mrs. Tannehill everytime her husband throws a pick, gets sacked, fumbles, completes a pass, looks terrified, comes into the game, makes a bad decision, etc. This will make him a watchable QB at least.

- Put Reggie Bush in on Defense.

- Play the Browns

- Kidnap Brandon Marshal, put a jersey on him and convince him that being traded to Chicago is a made up story his other personality wants him to believe.

- Put Reggie Bush in on Special Teams. Have him return all kicks.

- Play Jacksonville

- Join the ACC.

- Make Reggie Bush the head coach.

On to This Week's Matchups!!!! (3-2 Last Week)

MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!!!! FarveFingerDeathPunch vs. Easily Convictable: Two solid competitors separated by fractions of a point in projects makes this tough to call. Since Steve's team is mostly the Dallas Cowboys (even more than usual this year) they're on the road in Seattle where Romo is notoriously awful. I'm betting on a Cowboy's Collapse and a Brad Win, by 14pts.

French Fries vs. What's Your Deal: Disappointing week one losses for both these competitors makes this one intriguing in a "Somebody's got to win" kinda way. With MJD ending his pointless holdout, Frenchie has a decent RB tandem with Action Jackson, Reggie Kardashian and MJD. Joe has a Brown and the Browns are just Sub-par. French wins by 11 Euros.

Ihave#TebowSomething vs. TeamJetLovinJunior: We need to change both of these team names. I still don't understand what Carla is getting at but I've already reached my Tebow threshold for the season (until he starts in week 7). Ana's team name has both the words Jet and Lovin. Referencing the J-E-T-S won't win over this Commish and I hope both team's get riddled with injury. Ana by a point, because I have to.

Evil Shenanigans vs CAPS LOCK: Who's Ready for Some Football?!?! Hint: Not the Chiefs who (as of press time) have already surrendered 85 yards and 2 TDs to my favorite late round pick CJ Spiller. Me by Bunches.

Da Harbaughs vs JETS Fan: Clearly I hate the Jets. Jeremy by 40pts.

Cheers to Football.

The Commish
S.