The Commish Report: Week 13

I've literally run out of things to say about the NFL so lets talk College Football!

After yesterdays upsets you can expect the following playoffs from the selection committee.

1 - Clemson
2 - Oklahoma
3 - 'Bama
4 - Norte Dame some god damn how.

No offense to "Jimbo's Heating and Air Conditioning" in Oklahoma City, but at 70 MILLION dollars its safe to say Jimbo Fisher is the richest Jimbo that ever Jimbo.

Hurts my heart to see Chip Kelly back in the Pac-12 and not with the Ducks. Meanwhile, Taggart needed MORE money to stay faithful to Oregon after going 7-5? Outlook not so bright.

Mike Reilly deserved better than what Nebraska gave him.

Never give money to someone named Jimbo. 

Speaking of money, quick reminder of our fabulous cash prizes this season.

#1 Seed - $25
3rd Place - $25
2nd Place - $50
1st Place - $200!!! (And the Belt, which Kimmie needs to wash the glitter from before passing on)

On to this week's matchups!!!! (4-2 last week)

MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!!!!!! The Elders vs. Hard Gronk Life: 5 of the 6 Golden Tickets to Wonka's factory have been found and one remains. It could belong to Hiro but she's need to defeat the 2nd best team in the league to do so. Steve's sitting pretty on a 6 game win streak, 2nd overall seed, 1st round BYE. He's the 2005 Colts, doesn't even need to play his starters in the final week of the season. Those Colts also lost their first playoff game. Steve, I need you to beat Katie. I need to make the playoffs. Give this week everything you got! I'll even reverse my own jinx for you. Hiro gets the upset by 5pts. *winks*

Evil Shenanigans vs. Mariota Kart: This should be an easy one but it wouldn't be the first time my sister has knocked my flailing team out of the playoffs. Vernon Davis's disappearing act continued last Thursday with 2 targets for 15 yards. And I don't think anyone, even Alfred Morris, expected 27 carries. Really my team lives and dies by Kareem Hunt, which is a scary situation to be in. Will he return to form and score for the first time since before Halloween??!! Me and the rest of the KC are desperate for it. #FreeKareem Shenanigans prevails and gets to the Playoffs for the 1st time in 3 years.

90's Buffalo Bills vs. Victorious Secrets: It's December and it's Kim against Shane. We've seen this story before and it usually ends with Shane crying into his protein shake. A win for Kim would potentially knock Shane out of the #1 seed, giving it to Mike instead. Crowder has already disappointed and Gordon faces a sneaky good Cleveland run defense. Hmmmm... This one has all the makings of a yuuuuge upset. I'll take it! Glitterfarts by 9pts.

BRFs Beaten Frequently vs. Soft TDs: While I would love to see it, it won't happen. Mike by 18pts.

DOGS RUNNING WILD vs. Not Making The Playoffs: I think we all comprehend the significance of this matchup. Both teams actually got stronger as the season progressed. Both teams have gone over 100pts in 3 of the past 5 weeks. This one could very well be the most competitive of the matchups this week, just with absolutely nothing at stake. I'll give this one to DOGS on the back of another ridiculous performance by Kamara. Dogs by 8

Shock n Loss vs. Naughty Nurse: The one week Dez caught it and Casey leaves him on the bench. There's a reason Anne is in the Playoffs and the Mexican is back to landscaping for rich people early this year. Naughty by 10pts.

Hiro and I got everything booked for our European Elopement Experience this Spring. I'll be sure to say "I Do" as well as call it "Soccer" when prompted.

Wow, only 1 more report to write that Casey will never read. How time flies when you're watching replays of obviously touchdowns over and over and over...

The Commish.
S.