It is the dawn of a new football season and I couldn't be more excited! I'm actually in Salt Lake City with DOGS, Starfish and Romosexual this week for the Starfish / Romosexual wedding. I'm pretty excited for the week ahead, my big sis is getting married and I love Steve (as much as one guy can love another guy who roots for the Cowboys). I'm all set, just need to figure out which Bridesmaid I'm going to drunkenly hit on after the nuptials....lucky girl.
Some great games this weekend. Pitt/Balt, The Colts go into Houston without Manning at the helm (side bar: Collins is a capable backup and neither team has a great defense, this will be a shootout. How much pressure does Houston have on them to win this? If they can't beat a Manningless Colts team in their own backyard who can they beat?), Romosexual versus Dirty Sanchez, Patriots against my beloved Dolphins....I'm smelling a week 1 upset! Yes, my weekend is set. Football has returned, good luck getting me to do ANYTHING on a Sunday.
On to the week one matchups!!!
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK! DOGS RUNNING WILD v. Evil Shenanigans: I had to go with the Mother versus Son matchup in week one. I'm still in shell shock over the fact my mom passed on Peyton Manning and drafted most of the Packers Offense instead. Shocking. Yahoo sports doesn't believe in my team (71pts) but I don't believe in Yahoo Sports, Santa Claus, or when a girl says she's not like other girls. Evil Shenanigans return to the throne begins by defeating his own mother by 10pts.
Romosexual Regrets v. Jet Lovin: Is that team name a reference to the mile high club? I think Chris Johnson will be huge this week. I can't believe he got paid but I know they didn't give him all that money to pass the ball to Kenny Britt. 30+ Carries a game....what's CJ going to do, Complain? And the Jacksonville Jaguars just fired their most capable QB (Garrard) and are putting the offense in Rookie hands. If your team hasn't determined the starting QB before the final preseason game (Jacksonville and Washington) you know it just means the staff has no faith in either option. Doesn't bode well for the Jack Del Rio. Romosexual wins behind CJ's 25+ points. Regrets by 20.
Chaos N Suh v. Only Jets Fan Left: Unless Eric got help from his Fiancee I'm sure he drafted a crappy team.....again. Brad by 14 points.
Starfish Loves You v. What's Your Deal?: The season hasn't started and a Bengal went to Jail (Benson) a new team record. I actually think the Bengals won't win a game this season, seriously who are they favored against this year? If they can't stop Colt McCoy (BANG BANG) and the Brownies there's no light at the end of the tunnel. I'm picking Carla to Win this week because it's her wedding, good Karma is with her. Starfish wins by 10pts.
Ben There Raped That v. Suck for Luck: There's something wrong about both these team names. This rookie showdown should be full of fireworks. McFadden, Greene and Hillis all have interesting upsides. And Ryan Grant isn't the starter for his own team so he shouldn't be starting on anyone's fantasy team. I'm going to take Ben Rapistburger to win because we all know he doesn't take "No" for an answer. Heather by 16 points.
New ERA Commercial, Alec Baldwin delivers Comedic Gold.
Putting on my aviators and giving everyone my best douche-bag stare at the airport today is the closest I'll ever come to being a commercial pilot.
The Commish
S.
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