The Commish Report: Week 13

Who's still full from Thanksgiving?! I know I am. Dark meat, white meat, stuffing, ham, pie and I washed it all down with the tears of Dallas Cowboy fans when Chip Kelly's Philadelphia Ducks won the NFC East. Jerry Jones deserved to lose when he made Pitbull the halftime show.

In our league it is all winding down. Steve and I have demonstrated our dominance and now can relax for a few weeks as a sea of average battles to lose against us in december. Props to Joe and Jeremy for turning their teams around and riding win streaks into the final week of the season. If only their beloved Niners could have a similar rally then at least ONE game on thanksgiving would have been interesting to watch.

Hope you saved some room for Matchups! (3-3 Last Week, losing my touch)

MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!!!! Manneson vs The Dark Side: Most of the post season is set in stone. All Anne has to do is win this week and she's in. There's just one problem. He likes to rant on Facebook and is full of collusion. Should she lose the door to the postseason opens for all the other women sitting with 5 wins today. This one will be close but Kevin's team hasn't been the same since losing Thomas. Good prevails by 8pts.

Sibling rivalry: Stupid Alshon Jeffery stole all Forte's touchdowns and russell wilson only needed field goals against the niners has made this an uphill battle for me. Not that a loss changes anything for my post-season. The spoils of being good. I'll of course pick myself to win this one but it won't be easy. And she has a freakin Emmy! Shenanigans by 1pt

Casey vs Shandra: Who cares? Casey by doesn't matter.

Seadderall vs E: RoNo! E could play spoiler this week but then he thought to himself "Starting Tony Romo against Chip Kelly's defense is a good idea." Joe rides an EIGHT GAME WIN STREAK into the post season, by 20pts.

Legion of Puke vs The San Fransisco 49ers: The Legion of Boom gets the Legion of Puke a huge win this week, by hundreds.

Romo vs Rodgers: Steve's thankful for so much but probably not his Dallas Quarterback. Don't worry, he's only contracted through 2017. GB vs NE will be a huge game with lots of points. I suspect this will be the closest game of the week but I'm going to give Steve the edge. Steve wins and takes next week off, by 8pts

Go Ducks!!! I keep trying to get people out here to care about the PAC-12 but to no avail. HUUUUGE rematch next week for the PAC-12 title. I hate Arizona.

I miss my mustache.

Home in 2 weeks!

The Commish
S.

The Commish Report: Week 12

This week in Commish!

How hard did reality hit Mark Sanchez and Chip Kelly's Philadelphia Ducks last week? I'm sad because of how much I love Chip and want him to succeed but still get a kick out of Sanchez being butt fumble awful.

The New England Patriots are looking
for a new Social Media Manager.

Two weeks left in the season! There's a sea of 5/6 win teams fighting to make the post season. And then Eric. Top spot is still up in the air with Steve in the pole position and me and Kevin (mathematically at least) still on his heels. Perhaps the most dangerous team in the league is defending champion Joe. Who was written off at 0-5 now sits at 6-5 which is 4th place in this league.

Anything can happen in the playoffs.

This weeks Matchups with a side of cranberry sauce. (3-3 last week, my worst showing of the season)

MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!!! Kevin vs Scott: Lots riding on this matchup. If I win, I solidify my hold of the 1st round playoff bye and avenge my devastating  loss earlier in the season. A win by Kevin puts him in that #2 spot, potentially giving him that coveted first round Bye. Despite the 4 headed RB attack Kevin somehow is getting away with, Shenanigans is welcoming Josh Gordon to the squad with open arms. And lets be honest, is there any way I would pick Kevin over me? Shenanigans by 14pts.

RomoArigato vs Kevin's Wifey: Steve got lucky last week and is #1 in the league. Shan thinks its wise to keep the best tight end in football on the bench. Steve doesn't even need to update his roster and he'd still win by 10pts.

The Streak vs The Mexican: Jamal Charles in Charge already in this one. Joe gets to 7 in a row.

PACKERS RUNNING WILD vs LOP: The packers are good, scary good. The vikings are awful, butt fumble awful. So I expect a lot of points from the Rodgers/Cobbs/Nelson package. Jeremy's team has found some consistency late in the season but there's nobody on his team not named Dez I'm thinking could go off this week. Packers win a close one by 8pts.

New Home vs Does she still live in a trailer?: Right now these two squads have almost the exact same projection (Carla has yet to pick a defense or a replacement for ailing Foster). The San Fransisco 49ers are facing off against the Washington "It's Not A Slur" Redskins. The Skins spend their training camp in Richmond Virginia which I got to see a bit of earlier this year. So I can confirm the skins are awful and the niners will score staci lots and lots of points. Staci's Team has got it going on by 11pts.

Manneson vs Eeeeeeeee: I don't think E has ever won back to back games. Anne by bunches.

18 days!

"I'm a man of mustache now and I don't have to follow any rules." - Things I've yelled this week

The Commish
S.

 

The Commish Report: Week 11

Greetings Sports Fans!

Quick Rant: At Brandcenter the last 3 projects I worked on all had prizes for the winning team. One was a trip to Miami, another was an opportunity to present to our board of directors and a third sent the winning team to SXSW in Austin Texas. I finished "runner-up" in ALL THREE!!!! Very pissed this morning as yesterday was the announcement for the third project. Granted I should be happy about consistently beating the majority of the school but still.....Ugh!!!! Made me think of this quote by my favorite basketball player.

Sorry to vent here, no where else to do it where I don't seem like a sore loser. Which i am!

Enough about that though lets talk some FOOTBALL!

The Sanchize is BACK! After Chip Kelly found him outside a Home Depot, Mark "Dirty" Sanchez is back to the delight of Eric Pitt. I predict for the eagles a first round playoff lost with a 20% chance of butt fumble.

The other week we had an extraordinary amount of close games and last week was almost all blowouts. Interesting contrasts.

The regular season is winding down with only a few more opportunities for teams on the bubble. Will Joe make the playoffs after an 0-5 start? Will I ever be defeated again? Is E going to finish dead last (again)? Will Kevin change his team name once more? Will Staci find the link to the waiver wire? These questions and more will be answered in just a few short weeks.

MATCHUPS!!! (4-2 Last week)

MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!!!!! Number 1 vs Number 2: Remember when the Giants and the Patriots, who each had no reason to play their starters, faced off in the final week of the season in an epic game that was actually a preview of the superbowl? Yea, just like that me and Steve are going to mix it up. Similar to last weeks game, the Oregonian will prevail over the Ute. Shenanigans wins after Steve drops the ball on the 1 yard line.

Seadderall vs DILW GNINNUR SGOD: Joe has been UNSTOPPABLE. Starting off 0-5 and now sits in 4th place overall in our league. Absolutely insane. Now he's up agains the Green Bay Packers who unfortunately face Chip Kelly's "Much better than you realize" turnover causing defense. This one will be close but I'm all about jumping on the Joe bandwagon. Joe by 13pts.

Carla + Mini vs Pukey the Clown: Always interesting to see teams "on the bubble" fighting. After an insane two week span, Big Ben reminded us all why he's never drafted ahead of round 7. I expect this to be a low scoring affair with Carla emerging as the winner after Peyton Manning does unspeakable things to the St Louis Rams. Car by 9pts.

Suh Girls vs Girl: Staci easily defeated Kevin earlier this season but ever since bye weeks started Staci hasn't been finding many wins. If only there was a way in fantasy football that she could replace her injured/ineffective players with players who actually ARE playing. If only...... Kevin by ALOT.

Charles Manneson vs Kevin's a Woman: This will be a really close game with two squads fighting to stay in the playoffs. I'm guessing it's the closest game of the week.... until Shan once again forgot to update her roster and play Gronk. You'd think Kevin would have talked to her. Anne by 20pts.

Shock and Awe vs Butt Fumble: Someone has to win this right? Casey by 2pts.

Enjoy the games this weekend!

Go Ducks...... oh wait nvm.

Who wants to go to SXSW anyways?!?!

I did...

Update your rosters!

Home in less than 4 weeks!

The Commish
S.

The Commish Report: Week 10

Feeling the burnout of grad-school real bad this week, not gonna lie. My creativity is running on E. But I will say last week had some massive point differentials and some big upsets. Any time E wins I consider it a week of upsets.

Lets get straight to this week in MATCHUPS!! (4-2 Last Week)

MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!!!!! Anne vs Staci: The last time I watched two nurses going it at I.....uhhh.... wasn't talking about it around my mom ;) These two beauties were at one time sitting pretty on top of the league but after the first month of football their teams have been quarantined. Both teams are in desperate need of a trip to the waiver wire but stubbornly refused to ask their husbands "What is a waiver wire?". I expect a low scoring affair in this girl on girl matchup with Anne ending up on top, by 7pts.

Suh Girls, One Cup vs The Fighting Armadillos: On draft day I laughed pretty hard when Casey swooped in and grabbed Megatron in the first round. I'm sure that's a decision Casey wishes he hadn't made but the beauty of the situation is he gets the All-World WR back THIS WEEK to use against everyone's favorite lions fan. I sense magic in the air. Casey wins by 20 pesos.

Seadderall vs Romosexual Tendencies: I don't want anyone forgetting about my six game winning streak but almost equally impressive is Joe's 4 game win streak after starting off 0-5. Maybe he was just toying with us the whole time? Now he's one win away from being back at .500 and creeping into the playoffs to defend his title. Steve meanwhile is having some BYE week blues. I'll take Joe in this one, by only 8 points though.

My favorite of the Ben Roethlisberger Face Memes

DOGS RUNNING CAPS LOCK vs Starfish Loves You: Like Mother Like Daughter as both teams sit at 4-5. The Packers have Daaaaaaaaaa Bears this week in what should be a high scoring affair since neither team bothers to play defense. While I expect Manning and Hillman to put up bunches of points against the raiders, it won't be enough to overcome Boobie Dixon and squad. DOGS by 13pts.

Legion of Puke vs. Victor-E: Which win was more surprising last week? Mark Sanchez over the Texans or E's win over Carla with over 130pts. I'm thinking E's because Mark Sanchez has actually been to the playoffs before, twice. I'ma say E's win was. I'ma say it was a fluke. And I'ma say Jeremy wins this one by double digits. BUTT FUMBLE!!!!

6 Game Winning Streak vs. Shananananananana: 7 Game Winning Streak, by 16 points!

I have no idea why they're calling it "Rivalry Week"

Pinball documentary now has over 1000 views. I'm famous.

#CowboySuk

Back to work.

Skewl.

The Commish.
S.