Sunday, December 13, 2015

The Commish Report: Playoff Edition

The last Commish Report of the year. *fireworks*

Like the majority of MMA PPVs, I feel like we've invested too much to watch something be over so quickly. This commish report is for the ones who still have hope, the ones with reason remaining to cheer. I for one will spend my summer drinking to forget this horrific season. God Damn Doug Bladwin.

No matchup predictions this week. Instead, I present to you ladies and gentlemen and Mexican of the league my annual list of post-season heroes ranked in order of who I want to see win it all this year, from least to most.

Intolerable
Seadderall (Joe): Can't have this. Champion in '11. Champion in '13. Three makes a dynasty. There's a lot of New England Patriots about Joe and his fantasy football style. Seemingly pulls players out of no where and finds a way to win (check), mysteriously quite about anything he's thinking or doing (check), shadow side partner who helps him make decisions (check). He's 11 deflated footballs away from being the same team.

Also Intolerable
Deeznutz (Shaner): Guys, we gotta stop him. You know how much a Ruxinesque reign would ruin my summer? And Shane knows nothing about this, for him to walk in and win a championship his first season would be an insult to us all. He must be stopped.


I just learned spanish for Intolerable is intolerable
Shock N Awe (Casey): In the last Superbowl there was a conspiracy that the NFL influenced the Pete Carroll's decision to throw the ball instead of running it because they didn't want Marshawn Lynch to become the face of the NFL. His character, behavior, persona what have you, wasn't who Roger Goodell and the rest of the Sith Lords wanted to be the hero. And I get that.

Only a little painful
City Team (Steve): After winning the inaugural season in '07, Steve has been trying to return to the promise land. He's come close, much closer than his beloved Cowboys have come to doing anything relevant in that same span of time. But just like Tony Romo, it's way more fun to watch his team lose than it is to watch them win. It's spectacular.

Our league would poop glitter
Victorious Secret (Kim): Last season we had one lone female, in a playoff full of dudes, just go nuts and crush everyone. I believe Kimmie could do the same and nobody has worked as hard or done as many mock drafts as she has. She deserves it. If I had a trophy (someday I will I promise!) it would be a bitch to clean the glitter off it for the 2016 season which is why she's only 2nd on this list.

TDs FTW!
TDs and Beer (Mike): Great team. Great name. Great ass. He might have to beat his wife to do it (phrasing) but I believe we'll see TDs in the championship. Mike's team has been the poster child of consistency, he's been humble in wins and in losses and he voices the most appreciation for this poorly assembled string of words called a commish report. A true gentleman.

BONUS CONTENT!!!!
Olsen/Sacko Bracket Prediction: I hope it goes to Nevin. That is all.

Welp, that's it for this season in Commish Reports. I hope you've had as much fun reading these as I have had writing them but I doubt it. Not sure why anyone reads these honestly. Despite the tragedy that befell my team, I had a lot of fun watching football and rooting for various outcomes. You guys have been an absolute blast to share the season with and I hope to see you back next year.

I'm home SATURDAY!!!! Who wants to meet me at Buffalo Wild Wings for beer and stomach ache on Sunday??

Last night the concubine and I decided to take in a little KC Culture and attended a production of "The Nutcracker" at the world renown Kauffman theater. The World Series Trophy was used as a prop during the 1st Act but Oddly enough, Antonio Brown was no where to be found.



I'm sure that you'll forgive me if I don't enthuse I guess I've got the Christmas blues.

%$#@ this season.

The Commish
S.



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