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| Too much hope. |
"He was only 45 yards away, so it kinda made sense"
Hope clouds your judgement.
Hope is what happens when, early Sunday afternoon, Yahoo alerts you to say you're projected to put up 135pts with a chance of beating Steve somewhere around 88%.
Hope screws with your head.
Hope makes you angry.
Hope makes you punch a kitten.
Fantasy Football is a drug dealer and "Hope" is his top seller.
Some of you had a better week than I. Some of you had Luck in place of Hope. While losses are never easy to swallow, it is only week 1. Week 1 doesn't matter that much does it? DOES IT???
Forget the past! On to week TWO matchups!!!!! (3-3 last week, 1st week doesn't count)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!!!!!! More Hot Cop on Cop Action: The battles between Mike and Kim were some of my favorite matchups last season and they seem willing to pick up right where they left off. I like to imagine the Bew-drow household during football season. Kim with a pink and glitter trapper keeper full of research and insights that seems to always go missing about 2 hours before the draft. Mike, with glitter on his fingertips, falsely denies knowledge of said binder with the conviction of a teenager getting pulled over for the first time after a couple of a beers.... at the very least they have separate laptops with unsharable passwords for each. Both had solid week ones, but Kim found herself on the wrong end of a dirty Mexican and his favorite Johnson. This week should see high point totals for each, especially since the last time Eli and Drew played against each other I think 1000 passing yards and 7 touchdowns total happened, a feat Ryan Tannehill can't do in a full season let along a single game. I'm going to give a tip of the hat to the Mrs and say Kim gets the upset behind big games from Ware, Eli and Elliot. Lady officer by 10pts.
#Hashtags vs Hiro: Big sis is off to her hottest start since 2010 with a winning streak of 1! And Katie, well I guess not everyone who joins this league can have beginner's luck. Carla with the interesting strategy this week of benching top draft picks Wilson and Rawls. I guess that Rams defense she saw last Monday night really put the fear of god in her. Or maybe she's a super genius? Katie's hoping to bounce back after a wildly disappointing week 1 performance from top picks Dez and Beckham. Gotta believe the universe corrects itself this week with Carla losing, Dez catching TDs, and the giants bending the offense to beckham (you see what I did there?!). Hiro by fifty yen.
BRFs once again pretty easy to beat vs. Hellloooooooo Nurse!:
Three nurses died and went to heaven, where they were met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter.
To the first, he asked, “What did you do on Earth and why should you go to heaven?” “I was a nurse in an inner city hospital,” she replied. “I worked to bring healing and peace to the poor suffering city children.” “Very noble,” said St. Peter. “You may enter.” And in through the gates she went.
To the next, he asked the same question: “So what did you do on Earth?” “I was a nurse at a missionary hospital in Africa,” she replied. “For many years, I worked with a skeleton crew of doctors and nurses who tried to reach out to as many peoples and tribes with a hand of healing and with a message of God’s love.” “How touching,” said St. Peter. “You too may enter.” And in she went.
He then came to the last nurse, to whom he asked, “So, what did you do back on Earth?” After some hesitation, she explained, “I was just a nurse at an HMO.” St. Peter pondered this for a moment, and then said, “Okay, you may enter also.”
“Whew!” said the nurse. “For a moment there, I thought you weren’t going to let me in.”
“Oh, you can come in,” said St. Peter, “but you can only stay for three days….”
Nurse humor isn't funny. Stacey by 10pts.
Me vs E: Nothing helps correct a shakey start to the season faster than a matchup with my favorite Jets fan! Just what the doctor ordered. However, not sure who I have more faith in right now between Gurley and Freeman. At least the falcons have a QB and WR that opponents find threatening. The Niners just proved that all you have to do to defeat the Rams is send all 11 after Gurley each snap and you'll do just fine. Gonna be a looooong season if they can't find a way to get #30 going. For them and for me. But here's to hope! Evil Shenanigans by TWO GURLEY TOUCHDOWNS
#MakeDallassGreatAgain vs WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!: I CAN'T SAY HOW MUCH I DON'T BELIEVE IN THE COLTS THIS YEAR. THAT OFFENSIVE LINE ALMOST KILLED ANDREW LUCK LAST SEASON AND I DONT THINK MUCH HAS IMPROVED. GOOD THING FOR MY MOM LUCK PLAYED AGAINS THE LOLIONS LAST WEEK. WHO ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO BE WORSE THAN YOU'D EXPECT. DENVER IS NOT DETROIT. STEVE WINS BY 19PTS.
The Mexican vs The Monster: Do I smell a tamales side bet?! Both squads are coming off very dominating week 1 wins. Casey against the defending champ who is a decent opponent and Shane against BRFs.. a....well lets just say a much less decent opponent. I can't imagine AP having another bad game like he did last week. That would just send the purple nation and the green hulk into a depression frenzy. However, I expect an offensive explosion between Tampa Bay and Arizona, which will be great if you have players from those teams. Which Baker has bunches of. I'm gonna bet on the Mexican to win this one by Dos Equis.
Real excited for November. Hiro is taking me to my first ever NFL game when our beloved Kansas City Chiefs, led by the Heroic Alex Smith, host the crab leg sexual assaulting Jameis Winston and his merry band of Buccaneers.
Ducks Ducks Ducks. Taking on Nebraska this week. More Nebraska fans in KC than Oregon fans but I'll do my best to make sure Oregon fans are drunker and louder than them.
Da na na na na na naaaa BATMAN!!!
Here was a fun exchange between Steve and I on Monday night I have to share. We crack ourselves up.
Volleyball night is tonight. We remain winless. 0-40ish. I feel like Todd Gurley does.
Bounce. Stop. Wiggle Wiggle.
The Commish
S.
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