Saturday, September 24, 2016

The Commish Report: Week 3

Having myself a pretty nice little Saturday. Enjoyed some College Game Day this morning, followed by a sweaty AMRAP, now at a place called "Paleo Kitchen" for lunch (home of the original "Paleo Balls). Might go to Bed, Bath & Beyond later but I don't know....I don't know if we'll have enough time.

What a time to be alive. I think history is going to be kind to Colin Kaepernick. I don't agree with his actions and would never disrespect our flag or our anthem. However, what he's doing, how long he's be doing it for and how it is showing up in other leagues and levels of sports is impressive. Who knew this Rafi lookin', bicep kissing, backup Quarterback would have this level of impact on our culture? Will we actually look back at his actions as symbolic of our time in history? It'll be interesting to see what happens in Carolina during their home game on Sunday after a week of their downtown being a national emergency.

Interesting footnote, the NBA has all of their players contractually obligated to stand at attention for the national anthem at every game. The NFL didn't.

The Seattle Seahawks won't be kind to the Niners this Sunday.

Another year of Fantasy Football not being kind to me either. Hard to jump to conclusions so early in the season but I've only missed the playoffs twice in my 9 seasons and each time I failed I also started 0-2. On the other end of the spectrum, TDs has two huge knockers wins in his hands already and is showing no signs of sagging slowing down.

Interesting note after 2 games
Avg Legacy Division Score: 92.09
Avg Crossfit Division Score: 109.21

First week of cross-division play is next week.

But enough about next week lets talk about THIS WEEKS MATCHUPS!!! (3-3 last week, still finding my groove)

MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!!!!!! The Birthday Boy vs His loving wife: I always get excited when couples square off because it gives them something to talk about other than where each other wants to eat. Steve's basically the New England Patriots, off to an improbable undefeated start despite his best offensive player being suspended. Carla doesn't have much luck against her husband in fantasy football (or most anyone else) but this could be her Superbowl in week 3 should she pull of the upset. I don't expect a lot of points in that slugfest between Minn and Carolina, leaving Kelvin and Diggs short of their projections. I'm gonna take Steve to win, it being his birthday week and all, but this one will be low and it'll be close. Steve by 4pts.

Don't be a jerk, Eric!
Hiros in a Half-shell vs Devonta Freeman: Sad week in the Hiro household this week. Her beloved Kitten, Charlie Hustle, has come down with some sort of skin eating disease on his cute wittle face. We're not sure exactly what it is, vet gave him a shot and some pills while we await the test results. Her world is as devastated as her running back depth chart, after injury hits to Doug Martin and The Daily Show Jonathan Stewart. You'd have to be a real jerk to kick her while she's down this week. You'd have to be a real jerk to beat her in fantasy football while she's down this week. You'd really just have to be a jerk not to take a dive this week to give her a little something to be happy about wouldn't you, Eric? Hiro by 10pts.

The Naughty Nurse vs The Naughty Officer: This matchup is basically a slutty halloween costume playoff. I really enjoyed that close dogfight (sexist to say Catfight?) Anne won against Nevin last week. Poor Kim though, her team finished with the least amount of points and she didn't exactly get the spark from Gronkowski that she was hoping for this week. Maybe Mike can give you some waiver wire advice this week to turn things around? Or maybe you can grab his laptop for a quick Brown for Gronk trade? Either way, I"m betting that Nurses beat Cops in Fantasy Football hotness this week... hotness as in successful offensive production only is what i mean....of course... stop glaring at me Katie :) Anne by 15pts

Mexican vs Nevin: HA! Learned my lesson last week. Never say Nevin. Casey by DOZENS!

Evil Shenanigans vs DRW: No Rodgers? No Problem. Andrew Luck has been putting up huge numbers for my mom who currently sits in 4th place. This will be her last week of enjoy the Deangelo Williams jackpot of fantasy points though. But will that be enough to overcome by squad of misfits who have wildly underperformed to leave me at 0-2? Probably. But what can I say, I'm an optimist! Shenanigans steps over his own mother to grab his first win of the season, by 7pts.

Speedo's vs Speeding Tickets (and Beer):
That had to hurt.
Remember Shaun Alexander?
Age 28 - 1800+ yards
Age 30 - 716yards

Remember LaDainian Tomlinson?
Age 28 - 1400+ yards
Age 30 - 730 yards

This is why you don't want to be the guy who finds out when AP's career is done. Shane is now that guy. His team will get a lot more interesting when Josh Gordon comes off his 9th suspension (one more and the next one's free!) but by then DeMarco will probably have pulled up lame as well. I do like the Jordan Howard pickup, but honestly who wants to put their faith in anyone playing in Chicago this season? Mike meanwhile has a stud team with a bright future (Keenan Who?). Maybe a Blount for Gordon trade is worthwhile? Could be, but nobody ever wants to trade in this league anyways. I'm thinking Mike handily wins this one while Shane continues scouring the waiver wire for answers. The TDs are big and plentiful for Mike, wins by 20pts.

That Nebraska game certainly hurt my heart last weekend. Ugh. Welcome to the Helfrich era Ducks.

Katie's boss is a HUUUUUGE Oregon Duck. I love it. His name is Doug.

My first Crossfit competition in YEARS is about a month away and I'm far from the shape I'd like to be in. Damnit You Delicious BBQ! I'll be crashing hard for this test over the coming weeks. I'll be trying something called "Jogging"? It's radical.

Just call me angel of the morning, angel
Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby.

The Commish
S.

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