The Commish Report: Week 5

Good evening Sportsfans.

It's October and I'm reading a Stephen King book....On Writing. Great book. I'm actually learning a lot from someone who knows a lot. So after 10 years of writing this weekly rag maybe I'm actually starting to put forth......what's the word....effort? Yea effort. Feels odd.

No effort on my part required this week however because someone actually answered the call to be a guest Commish Report writer this week. No surprise it's Shane, but I am surprised he can read AND write. Big accomplishment for the wealthy neanderthal. [Goes back to reading about writing]

Shane writes...

Here we are in week 5 and our second week of cross contamination of the dominate Crossfitters against the participation award legacy league.  The Legacy league lost 4-5 games and even in losing Shane became the #1 team……now that’s dominance.

The world of sports has officially lost its collective minds.  Even though inter league play involves shit talking, nothing can compare to the latest headline of George Foreman vs. Steven Seagal!!  Yes you heard that right.  The once great boxer with 8 children all named George (3 girls), just challenged a B-level at best action star to a no holds barred fight.  At a combined age of 133 this proves that the combination of Viagra, Cocaine, and Testostone are a hell of a cocktail. 



Let’s recap last week’s Highlight reel knock out.  Apparently Bitch Resting Face can’t be beat……by Evil Shenanigans.  Does this loss clinch Evil Shenanigans continued absence from the post season?  I few more weeks will tell.  

So on to this weeks matchups:

BRF vs Dogs:
In this week’s least interesting match up we have an improving BRF taking on a beat down Dogs. Under normal circumstances Dogs would have this in the bag, but with half her team injured and the level of collusion that goes into setting BRF’s roster every week I’m taking BRF by 7.

Missionary Mormon’s vs Naughtiest Nurse Ever:
This is a tough one.  Bye weeks have decimated both these teams, and Anne still has a team with multiple kickers and multiple linebackers what will her final look like?  Although clearly she is colluding with the ghost of Kevin Husted with Stafford, Riddick, and Detroit DEF all in her line-up. Naughty Husted by 12.

Yo Quero Taco Bell vs DeVonta Freeman-less
Another match up where Bye weeks have put both these sad teams out of their misery.  However, they are playing each other so first one to score 85 wins.  I am taking E on this one simply because of the fact that Angela Merkel and Jose De Jesus Mendez Vargas’s love child will be starting Eli Manning!!! E by Bakers Dozen

Super Mariota vs Cop #1
Carla goes into the week with a .500 record and being white female and from Utah she won’t be intimidated by Mike’s normal tactics.  With the number of “questionables” Mike has it looks more like a police line-up than a fantasy line-up…. and he’s starting Big Ben!!!
TD’s by 1 kicked in bathroom stall door.

The champ vs Hiro
With 5 players on a bye week get ready to pick up Hiro’s sloppy seconds.  This should be a barn burner of a cat fight, but Glitter Farts carries a gun….and she’s my neighbor, so Bedazzed Doug by 7 Rhine stones

NOW THE GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!
Two years ago this matchup ended in the best bet video ever (insert Video) This year the bet is back on!!! The loser has to shave a bikini into their chest hair.



Challenge cast!! Bring it Roberts!!!!!

Sevcik by 7

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