 |
| The Internet remains undefeated this season. |
Lets review the sequence of events. Shall we?
Dude decides to cheat on his wife using "escorts".
Dude decides to snort a ton of cocaine. But hey, if your job was protecting Jay Cutler wouldn't you?
Dude decides to make a video of him snorting said cocaine.
Dude sends video of him snorting said cocaine to one of the escorts from earlier.
Dude then threatens the life of said escort should she choose to use the cocaine snorting video he sent against him.
Escort releases said video to the press. Not so much because of his threats to her life, but rather "My motive was to basically expose the inequalities in the system," she said. "It’s not just the NFL. The inequalities that come with being a minority compared with a white privileged person in America in general. This is shining light on the inequalities we have as a country. We don’t get paid the same amount as everyone else."
Escort is the Colin Kaepernick of Las Vegas escorts.
This and Jay Cutler are why the Dolphins are last in the division.
It's only the 6th week of the season.
Lets snort up some of this week's Matchups!!! (4-2 by Shane last week, nobody's perfect)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!!!!! Shane vs. Kim: Eli and Brady, Aaron Rodgers and the Dallas Cowboys, The 90s and The Buffalo Bills, Victorious Secrets and Shane. Everyone has their Kryptonite and Shane's is coated in glitter. And while their overall record is evenly split (3-3), twice Kim has been the only thing keeping Shane from the Championship. We owe her more than we could ever repay her. This one is going to be a close one. While those 2 Thursday TDs Ertz Shane's chances to win, you can't have 3 of your top 4 picks on the bench and expect to win against the #1 ranked team. Kim's feeling the hangover of two time championships and Shane takes the advantage this week even after giving away McCaffery for pennies on the dollar. Shaner by 5pts.
Zeke & Destroy vs. Hiro in a Half Shell: Katie started off with 3 wins and then lost her last 2. Steve started off with 3 losses and won his last 2. Now these two are on a collision course for probably 1st place in the NFC East, i.e. softest division in the league. Here's a hot take I realized the other day, is Eli Manning the worst QB in his division? If you were starting a team today and had to take Prescott, Wentz, Cousins or Him which would you pick? If your defense was playing said Eli Manning and the scrubs he'll be throwing the ball at this week are you probably going to win? Yes, yes you are. Hiro by the 20pts her defense will score.
Beauty and The Mexican Beast: Hottest team in our league right now? The Mexican! After doing some wheelin' and dealin' as only a mexican could, Casey's team is on a 3 week win streak and rapidly climbing out of the nevin cellar he was in. Now he's facing Anne's teams who has just been wildly inconsistent as inconsistent has get. Can she break 100pts? Yes. Can she score 70? Also yes. Which will it be this week? She dropped Cooper for Aghlaor and he grabbed a score, which makes her look like a genius. But it's hard not to bet on the hot handed mexican to find himself another victory on his improbable run to the top. Casey by 9pts.
Evil Shenanigans vs. Busted Mariota Kart: Consecutive losses aren't fun but nothing cures a case of shattered fantasy confidence like a visiting Mariota squad thats missing its Mariota. DeMarco doesn't scare like he used to and Montgomery lost his starting job. However, I have a bad track record against bad team. Fun fact, both one win teams in our league got their one win against me. Is Carla's team, who started off hot, now bad enough to beat me? God I hope not. Shenanigans by 10pts.
Dak Dat Pass Up vs. A TDs Man: Odds of Nevin forgetting to fill out her roster every week are the same odds of Mike winning this matchup. 92%. Mike by bunches.
Woe is E vs. DOGS RUNNING WILD: Did Cam Newton find a way to break his projection without throwing much at all Funchess's way? Yes. Will Eric still find a way to lose this matchup? Also yes. DOGS by 7pts.
Great week with Carla, Steve and Stephen in KC this week. They left today and my heart is full from their visit (as well as my stomach and my liver). I got the rare opportunity to bond with my little nephew. Sharp kid. Huge head. Here's a recap of what I learned.
Likes:
Elevators moving up
The Utah Utes *sigh*
Pumpkins
Naps
Dislikes:
Naps
Elevators moving down
Joe's Famous BBQ Ribs *sigh*
4D Lego Movies that Uncle Scott paid his hard earned money for him and everyone else to see you ungrateful little monster it was just water.
Our forthcoming hip hop mix tape will be straight 🔥
The Commish
S.
No comments:
Post a Comment