The Good: Favorite NFL story this week is that Goodell and Jerry Jones have to turn over their phone records and emails because of Colin Kapernick. It's not like those guys have skeletons in their closet that might be pulled out into public spotlight right? I'm sure Tom Brady is laughing in his Uggs.
The Bad: Deshaun Watson Nooooooooo!!!!! This fantasy football season hates me. But what else is new? Don't tell Hiro but if I had to choose between Deshaun tearing an ACL and one of the cats it would be REALLY tough to choose..... which cat gets a torn ACL.
The Ugly: $%#@ you Papa Johns. You know you screwed up your pizza brand when DiGiorno is landing shots against you. Now the brand is being embraced by Alt-right groups while demonized by mostly everyone else. While I typically don't side with the social justice warriors, Papa John is known as an asshole and guess who owns over 100 Papa John’s Restaurants and is the biggest single stake holder of Papa Johns besides the owner? You guessed it, Jerry Jones. $%#@ em both!Onto the Matchups!!! (4-2 last week, would have been better but I let myself down)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!!!! NotMakingThePlayoffs vs. Totally Making the Playoffs: Not that I'm rooting against Mike, but the cops are winning too much this season. It helps when the team you face lays an egg against you every week. Seriously! Mike's opponents are averaging a pedestrian 83.75 points against him this season. For comparison, the league average is around 94pts per week while I see an average of 102.75 points each week because you all hate me. After his random ass jets players put up double digit points on thursday I'm hoping some mathmatical averages take place and Mike faces someone who actually threatens his week. C'mon guys, lets rise up against these cops! Attica! Attica! E wins! Attica!
BRFs vs. Hard Gronk Life: Uh oh! Normally I'd accuse someone who started not one, but TWO jets running backs as purposely trying to lose the match. But some god damn how that turned into a smart move that could only happen to Nevin. Meanwhile Hiro's in a bad spot with BYE weeks and injuries. This feels weird but....Nevin.. wins? Did I spell that right? Feels strange to write. Nevin wins.
Victorious Secrets vs Super Alex Smith Kart: Despite T-mobile racking up 30ish points agains the Jets D, I still think this matchup will be close. I expect Alex Smith to throw a lot against the cowboys and C Thompson to further expose what actually is a weak seattle defense. I don't see Blount doing much against the Denver D that destroy the Chiefs run game (and my shot at a huge upset) last week. Kimmie's a similar situation to Mike where teams just don't do much against her. Carla puts up a fight but the law prevails in this one. Glitter farts by 10pts.
The Elders vs The Mexican: Steve's team keeps going as long as our US justice system keeps allowing for appeals. What a difference a Zeke makes too. After putting up an astonishing 140 some points against me last week, if history has taught me anything, his team will put up a gentlemans 70 points against Casey this week. Is Casey's team good? Hardly, but enough to put up the 71 points necessary to beat Steve. Casey wins, by 9pts.
DOGS vs Bills: If this were a matchup based on Karma I'd say my mom wins by dozens. But instead this is a matchup where Kamara is your best running back so Shane gets the win here. Although 103pt projection with Shepard and Lacy in the lineup?! Go home Yahoo you're drunk. Shane wins, but doesn't cover his ridiculously high projection.
Evil Shenanigans vs Helloooooooooo Nurse!: Love me an Animaniacs reference. Greatest kids show ever. But I digress. After not getting anything out of my kicker or my TE, this matchup is a lot closer than I'd like it to be. Also an ugly BYE week situation for me. Luckily I won't have to deal with LeVeon so that's good. I expect Funchess and Brees to get theirs. Dolphins head coach announced this week they have "the worst offense in the league" and I'm starting two Dolphins players this week. Am I unreasonably optimistic this week? You be the judge. Shenanigans wins by 2 Cutler TDS to Parker!!!!
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| They had a great Halloween. |
Stat of the week:
Avg points of a Legacy Team - 747.88
Avg points of a Crossfitters Team - 750.00
Basically even.
One division just has an exceptionally terrible team they use to pad their win/loss record with.
What are you, Thor, god of hammers?
The Commish
S.
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