We're already a quarter of the way through this soap opera and already I'm beginning to ask myself some big questions.Is my team bad?
Should I become a Chiefs fan?
Could Chip Kelly return to the Ducks?
I hate Devonta Freeman.
Should I be Bob, from Bob's Burgers, for Halloween?
Are the Giants good again? Giants vs Patriots III?!?!?!
With both the LOLions and the Cowgirls surrendering the season faster than the french surrendered Paris to the Nazi's, I've been needing new NFL storylines to follow. Here's what peaks my interest now....
Even still, rest assured I root hard every weekend for the failures from Detroit and Dallas and this season hasn't disappointed at all in that sense.
Anyone noticing the amount of hatred being spewed at the Ducks (and their fans) since they stopped playing at the caliber of awesomeness we had all grown accustom to? What did we, the fans, do to you guys? Was it that rough watching us win everything (but the big games) for the last decade? Who hurt you? Well enjoy it while it lasts cause Ducks will be back.
I'm talking to you Steve.
IT'S A MATCH.....UP (5-1 Last Week, DAMN YOU KIMMIE!!!!!)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!!!!! Dogs vs Mexicans: Last week my mom easily dispatched of one of my knuckleheaded friends and this week she takes on another. This one married a stripper! But more importantly, these two squads are both a win away from topping their division. Both squads have been finding gold on the waiver wire (Devontaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!) and have turned their teams scrappy. We all know how documented of a fan I am of Casey's squad, but this week looks rough with matchups against Seattle and New England for his key players. Meanwhile, DT against Oakland alone is enough to make a believer and Blount will probably be this week's Garbage Time MVP after NE goes into the half up 27 on the Cowboys. These dogs don't fold, they win! By 10pts
Evil Shenanigans vs 1st Place TDs: Remember that movie "The New Guy" starring one dimensional actor DJ Qualls? No? Missed that one? Well let me fill you in. To gain the respect of his school (and date super underrated hottie Eliza Dushku) scrawny little DJ Qualls has to kick the ass of the biggest, baddest guy at the school. See where I'm going with this? This week I gotta do the same thing and take down King Mike in front of everyone. That's right. Shenanigans by 14pts.
NaughtyNurse & Mason vs Devonta Freeman & Eric: for Chris Sims? GOD DAMMIT!!!!! E by a lot.
Seadderall vs Gracie Leave Ted Alone: As much fun as I had making fun of BRFs squad, JOE was the one with the least amount of points last week. What the hell happened?! 40pts? There were individual players who have put up more in a game than that squad did in the week. Meanwhile, Shane needs to rebound after last week's embarrassing loss. With a couple of soft matchups this week, especially Brown against a non-existent Chargers secondary, I see him getting the job done this week. Gracie's a beast this week, wins by 15pts.
Aaron Rodgers Hot Girlfriend Is Olivia Munn vs Even Record Secrets: It's amazing what a difference one win makes. 1-3 is 11th place, 2-2 is 5th place. Still a lot of football left to play. I gotta hand it to Carla, being a good wife and supporting her husband's awful choice of football teams. How long will that support hold up with Gronk has 2TDs and NE Def returns at least one of Weeden's many INTs for a score? Won't be a pretty day in the Pruitt household and Kimmie takes the win by 11 (I picked eleven because Weeden is 0-10 as a starter now and likely to lose again)
Broken Romo vs BYE Week: The over/under on this matchup is 178.08 and I'm taking the under, the way under. These squads suck. It's AJ Green followed by nobody I would have drafted before round 6. At least Stacie is starting a QB who is expected to play this week. Picking this matchup must be the feeling Micah gets when he picks his wardrobe in the mornings, does it even matter if what's underneath isn't good to begin with? THAT'S SO COLD. And he's not even here to defend himself. But I digress. Just for shits and giggles lets call an upset. STACIE BY 3PTS.
It's all fun and games until you find yourself starting Boobie Dixon.
Moving week! The new Apartment is downtown and it's awesome. Someone come visit me.
WHO'S THAT POKEMON?!?!?!
The Commish
S.
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