My 0-4 record is brought to you by disappointments Gurley, Cooks and Cooper. Ugh.
If Yahoo predictions equaled wins I'd be undefeated.
"Too many Urkels on you team, that's why your wins low"
 |
| BREAKING: Jaguars are real excited about Myles Jack |
Gotta be a bit short this week as my Layover is only so long. However, if its words you fancy, I'd like to point out how much Bleacher Reports......reporting is killing it this week. Making all of my afternoon poops reading sessions a delight.
Like this piece about the support Chip Kelly is getting from the players.
Or this piece about why we all hate Tom Brady (and we do).
Or this piece (actually Vanity Fair, but still featured on Bleacher Report, get off my ass!) about what a screw up Johnny Manziel is. A lot has already been written on this topic.
That'll get you through the poop I'm assuming you're currently on.
Meanwhile on ESPN Steven A Smith says LeBron isn't as black as Jordan. Ugh...I hate that network.
On to this weeks MATCHUPS!!! (1-5 last week, man...this season is really slipping away from me.)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!!!! RomoArigatoMrRoboto vs Manneson: Wind back the clocks to 2014, when a dominate #1 seed (Steve) was dramatically upset by a scrappy #6 team (Anne....or rumor has it Anne's Husband) in the championship game (Editors Note: I FINISHED 3RD). Two years later, no love has been lost and currently these teams are projected to put up identical scores. Anne's got a patchwork squad, consisting of Fozzy Bear and the Sproles in feature roles which......well honestly isn't a good sign. Steve meanwhile got LeVeon going and really not much else last week. I just CANT get that excited about a team feature Frank Gore as their best RB option so I'll give it to Steve this week. Redemption spelled P-R-U-I-T-T this week, by 13pts.
The Mexican vs. E: Pretty sure I said after the draft that the Mexican picked up a solid squad of amigos so don't say I underestimate ya (I just can never resist calling upsets that don't pay off, for christ sake I took the Niners on Thursday night. I need help!). I think this one's a nail biter that could go either way.....just kidding. The Mexican is mean this week and poor E is once again in the wrong place at the wrong time. I feel no empath-E. You see what I did there?! The Mexican wins big, continues dominance, eats nachos.
Victorious (Finally!) Secrets vs Holding Out For A Hiro: On one hand Carlos Hyde was basically 90% of the Niners offense on Thursday night, but on the other hand Floyd was 0% of the Arizona offense (See: Awe, Shock). Meanwhile, Katie's team is slowing getting healthier/Unsuspended and the guy she sometimes calls me is back in her lineup, throwing against what I assume are 11 Rodger Goodells. Guys seriously, the Patriots are going to kill us all from here on out. And Hiro is the benefactor. God damn Patriots fans.....Hiro wins by the 9 touchdowns I'm assuming Tom throws agains a lowly Cleveland D.
#GlassCaseOfEmotion vs. Nice Pass, Great TDs: WTF happened last week Mike?!?! Seriously. That was just a let down. Like the Patriots being blanked at home against Rex Ryan. I'm gonna pick you to win this week but I should be more confident about it. Shady McCoy has a broke hand and I. Abdul-Quddus is a terrorist, not a defensive player. Mike wins by 18.
BRFs Only Win When They're Lucky vs DOGS: Jerrick McKinnon for Eddie Lacy will be a fun trade to evaluate at the end of the year but hey, kick me when I'm down. I told my mom on you and now she's coming to kick your ass with...... W. Smallwood? Even I'm scratching my head on that one. But it wouldn't be the first time my mom pulled a player out of obscurity to win big. And I'm counting on it this week. DOGS wins by 12pts (or 2 Asiata vultured scores)
Evil Shenanigans vs Speedos and Nair: This matchup probably has a lot riding on......oh what's that? Final Boarding? Shenanigans wins by 9pts.
The Commish
S.
No comments:
Post a Comment