Short report this week. Really, just a boring week in the NFL in general but hey at least the Ducks didn't lose!
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| Best NFL picture of the last week. |
Later today in San Fransisco.
Team: "Kaep, it's 1st and 10 what would you like to do?"
Kaep: "Kneel."
Team: "Haha funny guy, but seriously."
Kaep: "Whats serious is how my people are being treated in the US."
Team: "But Kaep, you're not black."
Kaep: *Kneels*
Lets jump right into the Matchups!!! (3-3 last week. So there's that)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!!!!!! The Naughty Birthday vs. The Unstoppable Mexican: Happy Birthday Anne! Inappropriate Birthday Meme coming to your Facebook soon. In the meantime, lets talk about how her team has really been on a roll, despite playing the 2nd RB in Philly or the 6th WR in New Orleans. It's really impressive. But this season's Spanish Voldermort, he who should not be named, has dominated the league and gets even better this week with the return of Jamal Charles in Charge. Does Anne have enough birthday magic to put an end to the Mexican's winning streak? I wanna give her some birthday love but the smartest guy I know once said "never underestimate the mexican" and he's pretty smart so Feliz Cumpleaños but the Mexican wins this by 13 chimichangas.
The New England Tom Brady's vs MakeRomoPlayAgain: Lets be honest, the playoffs will be heavily stacked with Crossfitters. Legacy division is basically this year's AFC South and someone has to win it! They'll be rewarded with a 2nd seed placing, a first round BYE and an early exit. That is why this matchup is so important...well "important". Steve, once dominate in the division, has been unseated by our Rookie upstart who, in case you haven't heard, got Tom Brady back last week. I'm gonna take Steve in this after YUUUGE games from Kelvin, Lamar and Bell. That should be enough to cover Brady's 5TDs he'll likely throw against that lovable bungles secondary. Steve wins a close one.
Big TDs out in Miami vs #NeverSayNevin: Antonio Brown in Miami and up against Nevin? The TDs are bigger than ever this week, win by 20pts.
Kim bukaki'd on me vs League Champion: A rematch of last year's championship game but probably not going to be as exciting as that huge upset was. Kim's team just....just stinks. Zeke was a sweet round one pick (that I'm sure Yahoo made for her) and the rest is a patchwork team of long shots. Meanwhile, Shaner has been an absolute roll after a rocky start, riding the legs of Murray and Howard and the insane amount of production Big Ben has had. Gotta give it to Shane this week, who wins by 18pts and 3 big ben busted bathroom stall doors.
Devonta Freeman vs DOGS: E is jumping on the Wentz Wagon! There was plenty of room. Meanwhile my mom is still looking for a replacement for D Williams and D Booker wasn't it. I think this will be a close but low scoring matchup between two teams in the middle of the road. I'm going to go with E after big days from Edelman (See: Brady, Tom) and Freeman who will be heavily used in a stormy NW matchup. dEvonta frEEman by 8pts.
Winless Shenanigans vs. Starfish Loves You: Just a typical season for me, leading the division in pts scored and losses. Bill Parcells is famous for saying "You're only as good as your record" but screw that guy, my team is better than this! Meanwhile Carla is having an up and down season, winning games she shouldn't win while losing games she shouldn't lose. Hopefully the latter holds true and I finally get that first delicious win. Shenanigans gets a W by 10pts.
Hiro has insisted that I tell everyone that it was MY IDEA for her to keep Artis Payne and drop Fozzy Bear. This, of course, was before Artis went off for over 20pts last week. I think the words she's really looking for is "Thank you" but we all know how hard it is for any woman to say that.
This is Kangaroo Court!!!
The Commish
S.
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